Strange Nikolai

not a stormtrooper

Archive for the tag “geek”

The Dancing Geek

Hello internet my old friend, I’ve come to talk to you again. Cos, you know, I’ve been incommunicado for a while because I haven’t really been on tinternet. Not that I’m implying that internet=darkness – although myabe I should be implying that. The Darkness were a cool band. I believe in a thing called love. They should really have won the Christmas No 1 that year. Stupid soppy people buying Mad World.  I think that’s what broke up The Darkness. You probably have no idea what I’m going on about – and I don’t think I’ll explain myself. Learn to google/bing.

Anyway, short post today, I have lots of things I want to blog about but might have to split them up into short bits as I’m still not really on tinternet. This is an illusion.

Anyway, again. Below are two videos today that I like and really speak to who I am (you know, it’s deeep maannnn). I am the dancing geek.

Strangely Nikolai



As in Jeff Goldblum. By adjective-ised up. But Goldblumy looks a bit like Corblimey which apparently originated from God Blind Me, which looks even more like Goldblumy. Which proves that Jeff Goldblum is actually a blind priest. Like Stevie Wonder.

So I’ve been told a few times over the past month, by random people who don’t know each other, that I look like Jeff Goldblum. More specifically Jeff Goldblum in the movies The Fly and Jurassic Park. His name is surprisingly hard to type so I’m just going to call him JG from now on, or Goldy, or the Jeffster, wasn’t the band on Chuck called Jeffster ? (convenient link – yes it was! Thanks Zemanta!) Do you even know what I’m talking about? Chuck. It’s a TV show about a nerd. Except in my terms he’s probably more of a geek than a nerd. But it’s America, y’know, they do things different (read “stupid”).

That’s two pics of JG btw, not a side by side comparison jobbie of me and him.

Personally I think the only similarities are that we’re both tall, wear glasses, have big noses, slightly olive skin, practically identical hair (except I can’t grow sideburns – fuck, I’d love some sideburns like that. That’s the only reason I put that second pic in. I have sideburn envy. They’re not even particularly impressive sideburns – just simple, stylish, sideburns. Want. Stupid facial hair. In other news, I just bought a new stubble trimmer. It’s Vidal Sassoon. OOOoooOOO! $39.99 from Farmers – down from $79.99. If you don’t know what Farmers is, nevermind. Anyway, back to the comparison…), my jawline, ears and mouth look pretty much exactly like that left pic, and our eyes are the same shape and colour. But apart from that…. hang on, we DO look alike!!!11!1!

No we don’t. Just cos all the bits look the same (wow that managed to sound rude – my bits look like JG’s) doesn’t mean I’m a JG doppleganger. I’m not even Jewish. And I can’t do a convincing american accent. And the only impression I can do is kermit. I like JG’s hand gestures – I might work on that…

Though when I fell off a cliff and died last year the twitscape (and some media – including Channel 9 news in Australia. Stupid aussies) reported that it was him. Stupid Goldblum. Stealing my death thunder. Death Thunder is my new band name. On Lego Rock Band. Which I bought on the weekend but haven’t played yet cos I was too busy doing other stuff. So I don’t even know if you get to set up your own name. But I hope you do.

Fuck, now you know where I live. DAMMIT. Or where I don’t live, I suppose…

Strangely Nikolai

9 to 5 g33k

Hello, my name is Nikolai and I am a geek. It’s been 12 months since my last rebuild.

The other day I got a comment added (to the post with the meat scissors randomly?) that just said “this is dumb, your blog sux, you sound like a wannabe geek”. I deleted it cos I can’t be fucked dealing with fucktards like that – but it got me thinking, am I a wannabe geek?

Hells no! If anything I’m a don’t-wannabe geek. I’m not a real geek, I only pretend while I’m at work. I’m a 9 to 5 geek. I don’t even have a real computer at home, I just have a netbook and a flash drive. Although by knowing the difference I guess I am somewhat geeky.

Or is that nerdy? What’s the difference between a nerd and a geek? There a heaps of “definitions” on tinterweb – mostly that focus on how nerds have little to no social skills – but I quite like this one…

Or one that a friend of mine came up with. A geek has at least seen boobs on the internet. That wouldn’t have even crossed a nerd’s mind.

Here’s a basic test.

q1) Do you know the difference between HTML and XML, RAM and ROM?

No. You are not a geek or a nerd. Go away.


q2) How often do you shower?

<1 times a day. You are a nerd.

>2 times a day. You are a nerd with OCD.


q3) Have you ever worn a bumbag? (exceptions: costume parties, and when your parents dressed you – as long as you were under 5 when they dressed you, otherwise you are definately a nerd)

Yes. You are a nerd.

No. You’re probably a geek. But you might be a nerd. Or you might be a geek with nerd tendencies. Or one of those rare nerds that can talk to people.

I’m probably a geek. And sometimes I spell that g33k. Which means I’m becoming more geeky. I never meant to be a geek. It just happened. It doesn’t mean anything to me. I love you really, Arts Degree. You were my first. Well, actually I got a science degree first, but it was psychology, which is kinda on the border. Like how sex with a she-male doesn’t make you gay, as long as you originally thought it was a girl.

Sorry, you’re learning stuff about me again. Stop that!

Strangely Nikolai

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