Strange Nikolai

not a stormtrooper

Archive for the tag “hate”

What I hate today #2…

Today I hate OOS (it rhymes with goose in case you were wondering. Or moose, if you’re canadian. Actually I think it still rhymes with moose if you’re not canadian, but I don’t know the other countries where there are mooses. Is “mooses” correct? Or it it just moose. 1 moose, many moose. Like “sheep”. Tall sheep. With antlers. And brownish fur/hair rather than wool. Are there canadian geese? Because that’s easier. Except it doesn’t rhyme with geese – it rhymes with goose. Or loose. But not lose. “Loose” like your slutty sister, not “lose” like what she did with her virginity when she turned 15. I fucking hate people who mix those words up. GRRRRRR. But I might leave my grammar hate for another day. And close this bracket already. Sheesh.)

I understand lots of people don’t know what OOS is. You know what, I can’t be fucked explaining it. That’s what tinternet is for. Here, learn to interweb:

So yeah, I have OOS and I hate it. What a fucking self-pitying post this is. Waah waah waah, my arm is sore, waah waaah. Yes I hate myself (not heaps, just a little bit. I’m far too awesome to hate for too long. Oh yeah, I said it). But it does suck. It just means you can’t do stuff. Like mouse (I’m using mouse as a verb here rather than a noun). Especially I can’t mouse-wheel. Which is the coolest bit of the mouse. Suck on that Apple! (not the fruit) (also I think a lot of apple mouses now have scroll wheels… so it’s basically an outdated taunt… meh, not feeling the Apple hate today)

So I bought this sweeeet pen tablet ting and it was all good for a couple of weeks, then it failed so I sent it back and got a replacement, but now when I install it it only works for one screen. I work with at least two. Yes, I’m gangsta geek chic le freak (wtf am I talking about?). Holla (I don’t even know what that means). So I tinterweb that shit and all the forums and helpsites say that it never worked on dual screen. What?? But I had it working??? Fuckers!

I had a massage last week (there’s something I can’t do anymore as well, give massages. It’s not just an excuse. honestly. Seriously, being able to give good massage is an important weapon in any teenage boy’s arsenal. Not that I’ve been a teenager for a long time. And it doesn’t look likely that I will be in the future) and the masseuse (rhymes with OOS) really got into the shoulder muscles and made it all hurt. It was damn good. Now I’ll have that song in my head for the rest of the day… hurts so good, come on baby make it hurt so good… But massage won’t fix OOS. So I’m back to complaining.

I need a holiday.

Strangely Nikolai

What I hate today…

It’s healthy to let it out, so I’m going to record my hatreds for posterity – and on the off chance I do take over the world at some stage and need some quick victims to make an example of.

Today I’m hating on crappy websites. Specifically event hire websites. Specifically marquee websites. Specifically marquee websites that do not have prices. Specifically marquee websites that do not have prices, and won’t send even indicative prices by email, but insist you make an appointment.

From what I can gather (from other sources – not from stupid MWTDNHP – it’s an acronym I just made) a marquee of the size I want will cost between $1500 and $6000 (NZ dollars. NZ is also an acronym. That’s not really relevant right now. Look it up. Buy a map. Better yet, buy a globe and realise how small your stupid little country is – unless you’re in Russia. You guys have a big country. I’ll give you that one. Вы и спокойная ночь).

Anyhoo, that’s quite a difference. I can only assume the websites that don’t put up prices are at the higher end of the scale, and don’t want to scare away customers. Do you REALLY think your sales skills in person are going to make me fork out an extra $4500?? How fucking stupid do you think I am??? So you insult my intelligence and then try to do a slimy mobile phone salesperson (mobile phone salespeople are the new used car salesmen) job on me – and you just expect me to bend over and take it????

Or maybe… just maybe… you aren’t one of the expensive places, and you just suck at making websites. Maybe it’s “too hard” to update the websites when your prices change. Stop your fucking whining!! You’ve already lost my business anyway because your website is crap and I’m assuming you’re a slimy salesperson with expensive plastic tents.

And why is it so much more anyway?? What makes your stupid piece of plastic clipped to a couple of poles $4500 better than that other guys piece of plastic clipped to a couple of poles?? Here’s an idea – PUT SOME PHOTOS OF IT ON YOUR WEBSITE! It’s nice to see photo’s of people inside the marquee and shit, but you know what? I’m not looking to hire people… or wedding dresses… or photographers… I’m fucking looking to fucking hire a fucking marquee! Put some photos of that shit up. That might help.

Oh… one last note. Website builders who include music that starts playing as soon as you open the site will be first against the wall. A firing squad is too good for you, so you will be raped to death by an accordian playing russian bear.

Have a wonderful day 😀

Strangely Nikolai

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