Strange Nikolai

not a stormtrooper

Archive for the tag “wedding”

What I hate today…

It’s healthy to let it out, so I’m going to record my hatreds for posterity – and on the off chance I do take over the world at some stage and need some quick victims to make an example of.

Today I’m hating on crappy websites. Specifically event hire websites. Specifically marquee websites. Specifically marquee websites that do not have prices. Specifically marquee websites that do not have prices, and won’t send even indicative prices by email, but insist you make an appointment.

From what I can gather (from other sources – not from stupid MWTDNHP – it’s an acronym I just made) a marquee of the size I want will cost between $1500 and $6000 (NZ dollars. NZ is also an acronym. That’s not really relevant right now. Look it up. Buy a map. Better yet, buy a globe and realise how small your stupid little country is – unless you’re in Russia. You guys have a big country. I’ll give you that one. Вы и спокойная ночь).

Anyhoo, that’s quite a difference. I can only assume the websites that don’t put up prices are at the higher end of the scale, and don’t want to scare away customers. Do you REALLY think your sales skills in person are going to make me fork out an extra $4500?? How fucking stupid do you think I am??? So you insult my intelligence and then try to do a slimy mobile phone salesperson (mobile phone salespeople are the new used car salesmen) job on me – and you just expect me to bend over and take it????

Or maybe… just maybe… you aren’t one of the expensive places, and you just suck at making websites. Maybe it’s “too hard” to update the websites when your prices change. Stop your fucking whining!! You’ve already lost my business anyway because your website is crap and I’m assuming you’re a slimy salesperson with expensive plastic tents.

And why is it so much more anyway?? What makes your stupid piece of plastic clipped to a couple of poles $4500 better than that other guys piece of plastic clipped to a couple of poles?? Here’s an idea – PUT SOME PHOTOS OF IT ON YOUR WEBSITE! It’s nice to see photo’s of people inside the marquee and shit, but you know what? I’m not looking to hire people… or wedding dresses… or photographers… I’m fucking looking to fucking hire a fucking marquee! Put some photos of that shit up. That might help.

Oh… one last note. Website builders who include music that starts playing as soon as you open the site will be first against the wall. A firing squad is too good for you, so you will be raped to death by an accordian playing russian bear.

Have a wonderful day 😀

Strangely Nikolai


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